We fostered with a local authority for years and realised fostering traumatised children with your securely attached birth children were a challenge. As a family, we felt that we needed more specialist support

We had read a few Dan Hughes books and researched dealing with traumatised children, this is how we found Sarah Naish who designed the TRUE fostering model.

After hearing that a Foster Agency was being set up using the TRUE model, we jumped on board, as we knew this is how we wanted to foster and the way forward for our traumatised children to heal. Therapeutic fostering also works for securely attached children so the boundaries and rules are fair to all.

The most challenging aspect of fostering is the worry of getting it right. If you have a team around you that understands this, where it comes from and why and then supports you all in dealing with this the worry becomes less.  The most rewarding bit is having our former foster children coming back and telling us how much we helped them, and the difference we made, some were only with us a few months!

When we joined TRUE we were wary, but we soon felt the love and support from all of the team. The Manager, office staff, supervising social worker, empathic listener, child support worker, TRUE Monthly groups with Sarah D, and other foster parents have all made our journey more enjoyable as they all trained in therapeutic fostering and are on the same road as us as a team around the children.

Finally, we feel that we can be open and honest for the first time in our fostering journey since joining TRUE. It’s a relief at times to be able to say, “I’m stuck” and seek advice without any repercussions or hear “you’re only human” and “that’s fine, reconnect and repair the relationship”.

It’s the best decision we made joining TRUE.

I decided to become a Foster Carer 16 years ago, which was something I had always wanted to do. I just felt I had something to give to children that need a little help, things like good heathy meals, plenty of fruit and lots of love.

I applied to the Local Authority and after a year of assessments, we were approved as a fostering family. We only wanted to look after one child and specified less than 3 years old. Our first child was 18 months old and we found it a wrench when he left us after 3 months.  Over the next 4 years, we fostered many more babies and children.  I’m proud to say we’re still in touch with most of them.

We agreed to foster two brothers aged 4 and 5 and found it difficult as their behaviour was challenging and they had care needs that we hadn’t previously experienced.  We were introduced to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) and, after a shaky start, realized that we needed to understand more about the effects of trauma on young lives. This was when my journey as a Therapeutic Foster Parent began and following lots of research I was able to support the boys in the way they needed.

A friend introduced me to the TRUE fostering model devised by Sarah Naish and I realised that this was someone who really understood therapeutic parenting.  I also worked with Sarah Dillon, Attachment Therapist, and this gave a real boost to my life as a Foster Parent.  When TRUE Fostering was set up I decided to transfer from the local authority.  This was a difficult decision to make, but I felt it was in the best interests of the boys and would support me in giving them the care and support they needed.

At TRUE, I have an Empathic Listener who listens and rationalizes my thoughts and emotions, offers advice and coping strategies and is always only a text message away. Sarah Dillon also works with TRUE.  We have monthly meetings and private consultations if needed, with ongoing support, advice and training.

Through COVID-19 the continuing support has been next to none.  All foster parents and staff have access to regular Zoom meetings where we can share our experiences and build relationships. This has brought everyone in TRUE closer together

Having done a lot of training I can clearly see the difference between being a Foster Carer and a Foster Parent and I proudly say I’m a Foster Parent who makes a difference to young peoples’ lives.

Fostering is something I thought about for many years, but as the years went by I thought I would be too old. One of my daughters said I should leave my job and do what I always wanted to do – fostering. I was surprise to receive an email from True Fostering.  My daughter had emailed them without my knowledge.  I read up on True Fostering and decided that it was right for us.

I worked in schools for 25 years and always felt some of the children came into school at the age of 4, were told off and labelled as lazy and naughty. I have always felt that it was the schools that needed training and not the children. So, I got my daughter to answer the email and we went from there.

As a therapeutic foster parent I find completing reports and computer work to be the most challenging aspects of the role.  I have been a foster parent for over a year now and the reward is how the children respond and change, how they fit into the family and change your lives, while we hope to change theirs.

True Fostering support us in every way with training, meetings and individual chats with the empathic listener, which are all good.  The children love their child support worker and we enjoy speaking to other foster parents and learning from their experiences.  Most importantly, the True team is always there at the end of the phone.  They support the whole family, not just my husband and me.